


I See You

by starfireandskyfall



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged up characters, Assassin!Otabek, M/M, Post GPF, based off the album by the xx, sorry the chapters are kind of disjointed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:16:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9397244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfireandskyfall/pseuds/starfireandskyfall
Summary: Otabek had one job.It was too bad his feelings for Yuri Plietsky had gotten in the way.





	1. Dangerous

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so this is a continuation of the canon universe kind of. 
> 
> The title and chapters are based off of the new album "I see you" by The xx. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A motorcycle ride and a nightclub.

"Happy birthday, Yura." Otabek had pulled up outside the skating rink. He watched as Yuri's ocean colored eyes lit up upon seeing him.

"Beka!" He called, running to meet him. "I didn't know you'd get here so soon!"

"The flight was a little faster than I anticipated." Otabek shrugged, his broad shoulders creasing his leather jacket. He'd grown another two inches since the last time Yuri had seen him, a few months ago. Of course, in the same amount of time Yuri had grown about five inches as well, but to still be growing at almost 20, well, that was a nice surprise.

Otabek slung a muscular arm over Yuri's much less stocky shoulders, placing a helmet in Yuri's hands.

"You ready to go?"

"Where are we going?" Yuri's face showed his anticipation.

"To your house, of course. You can't go out like that."

Yuri looked down at the bland gray sweats he was wearing over his skating clothes, and suddenly felt underdressed in comparison to how dashing Otabek looked in his skinny black jeans and leather jacket. He scowled.

"Are you saying I look shitty?" He demanded, while Otabek chuckled at his short temper.

"Well, if you want to go to the nightclub looking like that, be my guest. But I thought you might want to wear something more…fitting."

Yuri rolled his eyes as he clasped the jet black helmet around his chin.

"All right, let's go home." He slung a slim leg over the motorcycle, grabbing Otabek's hips, pulling them close together. Otabek stiffened slightly at Yuri's touch, a minute detail Yuri didn't miss, but chose to ignore. He quickly started the engine and roared away at full speed.

As Yuri held tight to Otabek's waist, he pressed his cheek against the warm leather jacket. Otabek, with his stoic facial expressions and utilitarian motorcycle, often gave off a "don't fuck with me" vibe that kept people away.

But not Yuri.

He had so much respect for Otabek, that even if every person claimed that he was dangerous, Yuri would still climb on his motorcycle without hesitation.

And plus, Otabek wasn't dangerous. Not to him. He couldn't be.

They rode in silence through the sunset, wind whipping through their ears, until they reached Yuri's house.

"Wait here." Yuri murmured, leading Otabek into the cozy living room. "I'll change and be back in a minute." Yuri sounded breathless, but Otabek assumed it was his inexperience with motorcycle riding. The door to Yuri's room shut with a soft bang as Yuri blew through it at half speed.

Otabek sighed, his thoughts sinking back to Yuri, of his thin body pressed against his, of Yuri's face against his back. The last few months, he had wrestled with his own thoughts, choking down troublesome ideas of grabbing Yuri by the lapels and pressing their lips together. He had been plagued by these thoughts, day in and day out. He was curious about whether or not Yuri's lips were as soft and warm as they looked, and desire to see if perhaps kissing Yuri would be what everyone said kissing was. Unlike the monotone that kissing others seemed to be.

It had taken him a long time to determine that indeed, he wanted Yuri. That he wanted their limbs intertwined, wanted his fingers in Yuri's fine blonde hair. He wanted to press his lips to Yuri's delicate collarbones, and leave trails all the way down, wanted to leave Yuri panting like never before.

And frankly, those feelings scared Otabek. They were like wildfire, dangerous.

His pocket buzzed for a second time.

 _Reports are due tonight._ Read the text.

Right. Familial obligations.

Those obligations.

The ones that kept him from acting on his dangerous desires.

He wondered if he was already in too deep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yuri slammed the door behind him, heart pumping like he had just finished skating.

Ever since the last time he'd seen Otabek, he hadn't felt right in his own skin.

He had told himself it was the growth spurt, his body stretching itself out faster than it should have. But the minute he'd seen Otabek at the skating rink earlier that afternoon, he realized it wasn't the reason at all.

It was want.

Yuri _wanted_ Otabek. He wanted him the way he wanted air in his lungs, the way he desired ice beneath his skates. He wanted him touching every part of his skin, their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces.

Even now, just the realization of how much Yuri wanted Otabek was having a physical consequence.

He shook his head vigorously. These thoughts were dangerous. They made him reckless. So he pushed them away.

_Not now. I'm 18 today. I'm not going to ruin my own birthday by trying to fuck my best friend._

Pushing thoughts of desire out of his immediate working memory, Yuri went to pick an outfit.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_I'll send it at the usual time. Like always._

The text was terse, like it always was. But sending it felt like betrayal.

He'd always done this, always reported on his mission. Usually there was little to report, other than the small quirky habits Yuri had, or the lighthearted conversation they'd had that day.

But as Otabek became more and more infatuated with Yuri, he found it harder and harder to write the reports in a way that would help his master plan their next phase. The more he wanted to intertwine his own life with Yuri's, the more difficult it was to write the reports at all.

Because it wasn't real.

As real as his feelings were, the mission came first. He had been told time and time again, Yuri Plietsky was his mark. His target. His family had been making plans for years, as one of their main patrons had a death wish towards the Plietsky family.

And of course, that included Yuri.

He didn't know what his family had done, nor did he really care. All he knew was that his life, his family's life, and all their livelihood depended on this patron.

So he had joined figure skating, gotten close to one Yuri Plietsky, reported on his wellbeing and whereabouts for years on end. Otabek was dangerous. 

His feelings for Yuri were dangerous.

His reverie was interrupted by Yuri's soft voice.

"Beka?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm ready to go. This is okay for the nightclub we're going to, right?" Yuri mock twirled for Otabek to reveal black skinny jeans like Otabek's paired with a black turtleneck. It made him look a bit older, sophisticated. Otabek's heart skipped a beat.

_Fuck. I really have lost it._

*~*~*~~**~*~*

It was warm inside the nightclub, when Otabek and Yuri met up with Victor, Yuuri, as well as some of the other skaters.

"Happy birthday Yurio!" Victor and Yuuri chorused, looking dapper in dress shirts and expensive looking peacoats. "Make sure to dance like you mean it today!"

"Whatever, you brats. Its my birthday, so I decide. Not you!" Yuri knew he was going to dance anyways, but he didn't need to make himself look so eager. He had a reputation to keep up.

Although he did certainly hope to grab a dance with Otabek.

They all ordered champagne, Yuuri's drink of choice, of course.

One drink turned into two, two into three, and three into only God knew how many. Otabek downed them all, even the ones Yuri didn't finish. The alcohol helped him forget about the mission, helped him just be in the moment with Yuri. He didn't even notice when the room started to tilt.

"Come on, Beka!" Yuri was guiding him to the dance floor, a song with pounding base blaring from the center. He watched tipsily as Yuri started swaying his hips, throwing in a ballet move here and there in time with the pulsating music. Otabek felt his body warm, and not just from the alcohol. Yuri was smirking at him, a sultry look to match the music. He twirled in a circle, pulling Otabek toward him, his thin body swaying in the dim lights. Otabek, tipsy as he was, burned the image into his memory, willing himself to never forget Yuri's beauty.

And God, he wanted, like never before. Like he never would again.

 _Fuck it._ Otabek thought. _Fuck it all._

And he reached over to Yuri, grabbed the collar of his turtleneck and slammed their lips together like it was his last living moment on Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, I hope you enjoyed it! I'll try to get the next chapter up ASAP.
> 
> Please leave commentary, I always want to know how to improve! :)


	2. Say Something Loving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisses, and perhaps a bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this might just be shameless kissing and some sexy times but I promise there will be plot in the next chapter.

Yuri gasped against Otabek's lips, an audible sound despite the blaring music. Otabek's only reaction was to pull Yuri closer, one hand at the base of his head, the other trailing down his hip bones.

"Beka…" Yuri breathed softly, his own fingers intertwining themselves around Otabek's neck, seemingly of their own accord.

"Shhhhh…don't speak, Yura." Otabek whispered. "Just be."

And for once in his life, Yuri obeyed.

They stood together at the center of the dance floor for what seemed like ages. Victor and Yuuri made soft noises of appreciation behind them, but they didn't notice. It was only the two of them, for that one moment.

Finally, Otabek broke the kiss, crushing Yuri to his broad chest with a sound that was almost a cry.

"Yura…" He murmured, as if in wonder. "Say something"

Yuri turned his face towards Otabek, his lips against the place where the undercut met his longer locks.

"And what should I say?"

"Say something loving." The words popped out of Otabek's mouth, sounding strangled. He felt like he was being pulled apart cell by cell, the feeling of want, and desire, and love clouding his every nerve. He wanted this, so very much, wanted to hold Yuri in his arms for as long as he could. He wanted to just be.

But he couldn't. It couldn't be.

But he allowed himself this one moment, this one kiss, this one night.

Not that he thought anything would change in the morning.

"Beka, stay with me." Yuri's voice, like it always did, broke through the thick haze of Otabek's thoughts. "I'm better with you here." He paused, only to whisper, eyes downcast, "I don't want to forget this moment.

Otabek felt a warm glow spread throughout his body. He didn't know what it was, but it certainly didn't feel wrong. It was a thrill of affection, making him want to take Yuri back to his hotel room and cuddle him half to death.

_And why shouldn't I? What's stopping me?_ Otabek's inner thoughts strongly rebelled against the idea of forsaking this opportunity.

Otabek's brain wasn't working right; it was filled with lust, and love. Agape and eros tangled together in his mind, preventing him from coming up with a single reason why he shouldn't spend the wee hours of the morning with the man he loved.

"Well, what do you say, Yura?" He bent his head to whisper in the other man's ear. "Why don't we get out of here, we can throw our own party."

Yuri didn't say a word, but he didn't need to. His quick exit from the dance floor and the club said it all.

Otabek grabbed his hand, leading Yuri down the sidewalk. The two of them giggled like children all the way back to Otabek's hotel room, giddy with the evening's events. They fell together onto the bed, curled into each other's arms.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yuri lay on his side, his body curved into Otabek. His mind felt like it was full of static. He wasn't drunk, or even tipsy really, but he felt like he could be.

He'd heard Yuuri talk about being drunk in love as a feeling and not a metaphor, but he had just dismissed it as something the lovesick couple could experience, but not something tangible for him to understand.

But this one kiss had proved him wrong.

The feeling of Otabek's lips against his made him feel like nothing could go wrong, like the world had stopped spinning and was stationed at that moment. He had imagined so many scenarios and situations where he would get to experience such a thing, but all his fantasies paled in comparison to reality.

He really was in love, and now he couldn’t even try to deny it.

"Beka?" Yuri nuzzled himself closer to Otabek. "Come here."

He didn't know if it was the feeling of a fantasy come to life, or an overwhelming sense of contentment that had made him so bold. It didn't matter, really. All he knew was that Otabek had kissed him, Otabek felt for him, and tonight he was going to get _fucked._

Yuri rolled himself until he was nearly wedged underneath Otabek, their noses barely touching while the rest of their bodies overlapped.  Their eyes met, Yuri's green-gray irises locked onto Otabek's soulful brown ones. It felt like the universe held its breath as neither of them moved.

Finally, Yuri gave in to his body's screaming. He plastered his lips to Otabek's, pulling them closer than they'd ever been, hips flush against one another. His blood felt hot, his hips felt hot, he felt hot. And when Otabek cupped his behind in one hand, the heat only increased.

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, Otabek peeled off his jacket, then his shirt, discarding them in a pile on the ground. He then began to peel off Yuri's clothes as well.

"Goddamnit, Beka, can you go any slower? I'm going to expire if you don't hurry it up."

"Let me enjoy this, Yura." He lifted the hem of Yuri's turtleneck over his head, carefully disentangling the blonde hair from the tight neckline. And then he was kissing Yuri's collarbones, sucking on some, licking others. Yuri's hands scrabbled at Otabek's body, trying to pull him closer, closer.

"Beka, I _want_ you." Yuri whined, a high keening in his throat. "I've wanted nobody but you and you're here now and---" Otabek kissed him quiet, hooking his fingers through Yuri's belt and deftly sliding it off.  Yuri's pants came off directly after.

"There, is that what you want? Is that better?"

"Not yet." Yuri responded, and went to work on Otabek's belt, and trousers.

He felt his own body harden as he observed Otabek's finally naked body.

Otabek was all hard, muscular lines, whereas Yuri was softer, less defined. But Yuri thought Otabek was beautiful in his own way.

He crawled closer to Otabek, planting kisses on his neck, his chest, his hips, until finally his lips closed around what Yuri had been dreaming about. His tongue traced slow circles, eliciting low moans from Otabek, whose eyes rolled back in bliss. He worked passionately, instinct driving Yuri until Otabek couldn't stop himself from gasping.

"Yura, I----" His voice cut off into a scream as he convulsed, panting. Pleased, Yuri swallowed and admired his handiwork. Otabek lay on the hotel pillows, nude and glorious, nearly spent.

And Yuri had been the one responsible.

"Beka." Yuri smiled from between Otabek's legs, desire shining in his eyes.

Otabek smiled, still breathing quickly.

"Yes, of course." He grinned, sat up and pulled Yuri to him. "Your turn."

And Otabek made quick work of Yuri's passion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully its not overly descriptive/slow moving/ridiculous for all y'all! (Also I almost never write more explicit sex scenes, especially from male points of view, so let me know if it doesn't really work)
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	3. Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes down to Otabek's choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while, and this chapter's pretty short. Been having a wild few weeks, what with last minute med school interviews and sending my partner to boot camp etc. 
> 
> Wrote this on the airplane, hope y'all enjoy it!

The few weeks following Yuri's birthday were a whirlwind of lips, skating, and dreams. Otabek had never been so happy to be by someone's side, to hold Yuri at the end of the day, to be the one to make him smile. They skated in the daytime and cuddled at night, cooked meals in Yuri's small apartment and danced in Otabek's even smaller hotel room.

And of course, the fucking was incredible. Every day was a new experience, and Otabek treasured each one.

Every minute of every day, he felt like his heart was going to burst, like it was too good to be true.

And then, one day, it was.

Three weeks in, after two and a half weeks of neglecting his reports and even talking to his family, Otabek received a single text.

_Its time. You know what to do._

Otabek felt his heart hit the ground like a bag of rocks, the sudden realization of his actual reality crashing down upon him. He turned to Yuri, saw his beautiful ocean colored eyes, and swore loudly. He picked up his fist and slammed it into the wall hard enough to leave a dent. The pain meant nothing to him anymore.

Yuri's face became confused at Otabek's sudden outburst. Otabek rarely swore, and was never violent.

"Beka…?" He murmured, "What's wrong?"

"I…I need to leave." And with that, Otabek grabbed his backpack and dashed out of the hotel room they'd been staying in, ran out into the wintery air, gulping it in and trying to shake away the impending doom.

What was he to do?

He couldn't possibly carry through with the mission now, especially now that he knew him and Yuri were in love and fit so well together.

The text he had received meant his family's plan had reached its final phase.

The one that meant it was time for Yuri to die.

Or, more specifically, that it was time for Otabek to kill him. 

He had known that was the plan for years now, had been trained and told about it so many times. He had hidden the gun at the bottom of his backpack long ago and never removed it. But frankly, it had been so long since anyone had mentioned the final phase that he had started to doubt that it would ever come.

But now it had, and Otabek had never felt more conflicted.

Who was more important to him? His family? Or his love?

Could he give up Yuri to ensure his family's future? At the expense of Yuri's life?

It felt like an impossible choice.

How had he let it come so far? He should have bowed out of the plan long ago. 

Otabek hated himself for it.

"Beka!" Yuri had run after him, his slim legs pumping as fast as his body would allow. Otabek had stopped, staring at the water as the sun began to set.

As he watched Yuri run toward him, in that split second, he made a decision.

Something had to give.

"I'm fine Yuri. But I'll be leaving tonight." He watched Yuri's face fall as he announced his sudden departure.

"But...but why are you leaving? I thought you were going to stay here until spring…" He stammered, cheeks flushing pink."

"I was, but there are some things I need to do. Family business."

"Let me come with you! I can help if something's wrong."

"You can't. I can't take you with me."

Yuri opened his mouth in protest, and Otabek knew it would be useless to argue.

"I don't want you to come with me." His tone was flat, harsh. And necessarily so. Yuri would never stop putting up a fight, and this was the only way he could think to shut him up and allow Otabek to do what he needed to keep Yuri safe." You'll only get in the way." Otabek knew that statement would hurt, he knew Yuri's secret insecurities of being too needy, too much to keep around. He also knew that leaving Yuri like this would kill him. Figuratively speaking, of course.

It was better than literally killing him. Anything was better than that.

Yuri closed his mouth, then, words dying on his lips.

"You…you don't want me?" Yuri had always worried that he was just a phase to Otabek, someone to love and then leave. Like his mother before him. Like his father before that.

And here his worst fears were laid out in front of him. Yuri nearly choked on his ragged breathing.

"I can't have you, we just can't be together now. I'm sorry, I wish I could explain." The words fell out of Otabek's mouth, almost garbled. The second he spoke, he wished he could take them back. "I'm sorry." He leaned into Yuri, pressed a soft and bitter kiss to his forehead, then his lips. "I'm so sorry I wasn't good for you."

He left Yuri crying on the sidewalk, sprinting towards a bus that would take him to the airport. He had to settle this once and for all.

Otherwise he would lose what mattered most to him in the world.

It didn't matter if he couldn't have Yuri, it didn't matter if he was happy. All that mattered was that Yuri had his chance to live a good life, to become the man he had the potential to be.

Otabek refused to take that away from him.

He could not, would not pull that trigger. It was the most he could do for the man he loved.

Hours later, Otabek arrived in Almaty, exhausted beyond belief. He looked towards his hometown, eyes like that of a war-torn soldier.

He would hunt down the patron who was ruining his life.

And then, god help him, he would slaughter them for causing him and Yuri all this pain.


	4. A Violent Noise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions and Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, thanks for sticking with me! I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> Sorry its not very long, I'm doing a lot of planning and traveling for medical school interviews but I'm trying to get as many chapters out as I can!
> 
> As always, please comment/kudos/subscribe/etc. Feedback is always welcomed, as well as suggestions!

The first morning hit him the hardest. It was the fact that he was alone that threw him for a loop. When he opened his eyes, he had hoped the whole ordeal had been a bad dream.

But, of course, it wasn't.

Otabek had definitely chased off Yuri the previous night, caught a bus and then a plane, and returned to Almaty.

And here he was, in his own small apartment. Alone.

With a growl, Otabek grabbed his backpack, yanked out his laptop, and began searching. He didn't really know what he was looking for, exactly, but any lead on finding his family's patron would be enough. He had never met the man, never known him by a name, but he knew something had to lead back to him. Anything.

He searched through years of reports, years of texts, years of stuff.

And found nothing.

His phone buzzed.

_Why haven't you reported yet. Respond immediately._

It was Father.

Clearly, Otabek had not thought his plan through. He had not reported in two weeks, and now his family would know something was amiss.

_Shit. What do I do?_ He thought frantically.

He had maybe three days before someone would come after him, and by proxy, Yuri. He could buy himself a few more with a false report.

Otabek sighed and rapidly typed a response.

_Getting everything in place. Will report when the final phase is in place on my end._

With that, he went to search his room. Perhaps there was something he had kept or forgotten that would help him find the patron.

He guessed he had about a week to get to the bottom of everything.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~

Yuri woke up feeling empty, a feeling he hadn't had in ages.

He hated it.

His bed was empty, his apartment was empty, his life was empty.

Otabek had left him, and he was so much worse for it.

He'd cried himself to sleep, but not before punching every single one of his stuffed animals. Neither action made him feel any better.

Sleep hadn't helped either.

He left the house. He couldn't live with the emptiness in his current state.

Yuri felt his heartbeat in his ears, every beat a violent noise. The wind rushed in his ears as well, another violent noise. But the sound didn't cover the echoes of Otabek's voice in his head, or the feeling of being unwanted that flooded his entire being.

He stayed out late, but he didn't find what he was looking for.

He didn't know what he was looking for anymore.

_Beka._

Yuri typed out the word on his phone, growled, and deleted it. He repeated the gesture multiple times throughout the next few days, but never actually managed to send anything.

The emptiness didn't dissipate,  but he learned to live with it. He'd done it before; he could do it again.

He threw himself into skating, into the program he'd neglected. After all, he finally understood his theme: loss.

_What did I do?_

_Was I too high and mighty?_

_Too proud?_

_Unloveable?_

_Why did you leave me, Beka?_

_Why?_

And these thoughts circled around and around for days on end.

*~*~*~*~*~*~~

After five days of searching, Otabek finally found a lead.

It wasn't much, but it told him the answers would be found at his parent's home. He cursed himself for not realizing it before.

Of course his parents would have the paperwork.

The only trick would be keeping them out of this whole mess. He didn't want his younger sister involved, nor his mother. His father…well, he didn't want him to know at all. He knew his actions would not be well received.

He left in the early hours of the morning, to sneak into his father's study. He knew there must be a contract somewhere, amongst other things.

As quietly as possible, he ruffled through the papers, skimming each one for information that meant something. He'd never actually raided the study before, and to be honest he didn't know what to expect.

Most of the papers were junk, useless bills and letters from various companies.

After a few hours, Otabek finally reached the bottom of the biggest stack of papers.

_God, my parents are hoarders._ He thought to himself, shaking his head sadly.

He pulled out the last folder, and noticed a paper of considerable thickness.

A death certificate.

_Thomas Altin._

_Who was that?_ Otabek didn’t recognize the name, but it did stir a feeling in his memory that he couldn’t place.

Time of death: 07:37, 05 Jan 1996

This relative had died around the time Otabek was born.

Suddenly, it all clicked.

Thomas Altin was his father's youngest brother, the one they hardly ever spoke of.

He had been killed before Otabek's birth, in a tragic accident. Or at least that's what his father had said, the only time Otabek had asked.

He remembered the hardness in his father's eyes as he'd spoken of it. He remembered how insistent Father had been about Otabek's taking part in this particular mission. He remembered the hatred in Father's voice every time they spoke of Yuri Plietsky. And a horrifying idea started to form in Otabek's mind.

_Oh, my god. I'm so stupid. I've been so blind all this time._

He typed a search into google with shaking fingers.

_Thomas Altin murder, 1996_

Google readily confirmed the dark fear growing in his mind.

The main suspects in his uncle's murder were none other than the parents of Yuri Plietsky.

There had never been a patron.

There had only been his Father and his revenge.

His entire life, his entire mission had been nothing more than one intricate lie. 

 


	5. Performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worlds, and a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is split between Yuri and Otabek's perspectives! 
> 
> Performance is my favorite song of the album, and the whole reason I wanted to write this fic in the first place. The lyrics are from the song as well.
> 
> Sorry its been a while since I updated, I've been traveling and such so its been hard to write.

In the days after Otabek's departure, Yuri lived and breathed for practice. Worlds were coming up, and he _had_ to be at his best. Physically, that was.

His mental state was a whole different matter. But that didn't matter.

He'd finally taken to completely turning off his phone, unable to deal with the sheer silence that was occurring. Not that it really helped that much.

It also didn't help that his theme for the year was "Longing."

Because it became his every waking moment. His heart was broken, and it was all he could do to keep the rest of him together. He wasn't sure if he was successful, but he was landing his jumps and for now that was good enough.

*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Otabek had a sick feeling in his chest. He knew something was up, that his father would try to pull something if Otabek didn't finish the job. And he knew now that he never would.

Worlds was coming up.

If anything was going to happen, it would be then. In the most public setting possible.

His father did indeed have a flair for the dramatic.

_Shit, I shouldn't have left him. I was hasty, I wasn't thinking clearly…_

He hastily bought a plane ticket to Los Angeles, where Worlds were taking place. He didn't have much time. Which meant that Yuri might not have much time.

*~*~*~*~**~*~*~

Worlds came around. Yuri prepared like he was on autopilot, like every moment was a performance that he was gaining nothing from.

He just had to get through his programs and then everything would be okay. It was all he could think to do. He knew nothing else.

It was time. Yuri gingerly stepped onto the ice for his short program, breath clattering in his lungs. Could he do this?

_If I put on a disguise, would you think everything's alright?_

He knew Otabek wasn't there. He'd withdrawn his name from the competition. He wasn't coming. Yuri didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

But it hurt.

_I'll put on a performance, I'll put on a show._

He somehow managed to finish the set. But the longing didn't go away, even though he told himself he was only showing it to the audience to portray his theme.

A bald faced lie.

He wanted Otabek, he wanted him back, he wanted him here with him. He just wanted, period.

And even though he put on a show, it wasn't just a performance.

_I do it all so you won't see me hurting, when my heart it breaks. I put on a performance, I put on a brave face._

He wanted him back.

Ironically, he broke his own world record. The interviews asked him how he managed to make it look so effortless, so in tune with his theme.

"Practice." Was all he said. He couldn't bear to give the truth. He himself hadn't even accepted it yet.

His long program was equally successful, and Yuri cried at the end of it. But they weren't tears of happiness. They were tears from his broken heart. He felt like he would never heal, like he would never understand why he had been given a taste of something so good only for it to be snatched away from him.

The word _why_ had run through his entire program, through every second. He wondered if he would ever understand, ever move on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Otabek ran through the airport, hailed a cab, and sped towards the arena where Yuri was. He didn't know what was going on, only that something was going to happen. It was a gut feeling, and Otabek's gut was never wrong.

He touched the sight bulge of the gun in his back pocket.

Otabek snuck in the back door when the security guards changed shifts. It wasn't like it was hard; he'd been taught to sneak since he could barely walk.

Once inside, he scanned the seats. Nothing looked out of place, but then again, Otabek didn't think his father would snipe Yuri in the middle of his program.

_No….it will be later, at the ceremony…_

Otabek sat in his seat and watched the show. He saw Yuri's heart on the ice, its fear and sadness, and his own heart broke with the performance.

_I'm so sorry, my love. I'm so sorry. Let me make it up to you someday._

He was the one who made this mess and he was going to need to fix it.

Again, he touched the bulge in his back pocket.

~*~~*~*~*~*~

Yuri skated up to the podium when they announced his name. He was just about to step up to the first tier to accept his medal when a piercing shout rang out.

_"Yuri! GET DOWN!!!!"_

The voice was loud and desperate, and unmistakably Otabek's.

_CRACK_

Suddenly, a gunshot rang out.

Yuri hit the ground as Otabek crashed into him, gasping.

"Shit! Beka!"

Beka was grasping his right arm, the bright red blood making a harsh contrast on the white ice. 

"What the fuck, Beka?!"

Yuri had gone as white as the ice as well, looking confused and unsure.

Otabek, dressed in all black, was looking around frantically, his right hand grasping an outrageously expensive handgun.

"Yura…" He gently tucked a strand of hair behind Yuri's ear and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I will explain, I promise."

Otabek then saw movement in the stands. It was now or never.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, leaving another quick peck, and then dashed off at top speed after a shadowy figure in the balcony.

Yuri watched him go again, with a mix of confusion, surprise, and perhaps, hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its a bit disjointed, but I hope you like it anyways :) Please leave commentary, as always, I adore your comments.


	6. Replica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontations and blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH so its been a while, I got put on a bunch of waiting lists for school so I didn't have any motivation to write. But anyways, here's a short chapter between Otabek and his father. Hope you like it! 
> 
> There will probably be 1-2 more chapters in this story, thanks for sticking with me for so long!

He ran, feet pounding the pavement faster than ever before, breath scorching his lungs as he tried to catch up to the figure. Even though he knew in all likelihood it was going to be his father, he still had to see his face. He had to know for sure. 

Was his life even real?

Had it really all been one elaborate lie?

He got closer and closer, until finally with one fierce push, he launched himself off the ground and at Yuri's attacker.

With a grunt, both of them fell to the hard linoleum floor that covered the arena. 

Otabek sighed as he finally saw the face of his patron. He had been right. It was his father. 

His life, his soul fell away from him, leaving only anger behind.

"How dare you?!" 

Otabek lifted a fist and punched it square into his father's jaw, whose exact shape he had inherited. Not that it mattered now.

"You let me live this lie, for what, how many years of my life? You let me fall in love with him! You let me believe I had to kill him! How dare you!" 

It was almost the most truth he had spoken to his father in years, possibly even in his whole life. The two of them had always skirted the lines of duty, of family, of honor. Otabek had learned his creed at his father's knee, before skating, before killing, before…Yuri. Before his life had become Yuri and nothing else.

"You're not the man I thought you were." Otabek spat, "I'm not like you. I'll never be like you."

Father chuckled, and the sound chilled Otabek's blood. How could he have never noticed how cruel Father was? How little soul he had?

"You sound like Thomas. And it was that foolish notion that killed him." Father stood up, rubbing his jaw where a bruise would soon bloom like a poisoned rose. "There's no escaping this, Otabek. You were bred for this. You have no choice but to become like me, a replica. Forget love. Love is useless and it can only be used against you. You have no choice, son. You will become just like me. And Yuri's life will come to an end, like it should have long ago."

"I won't." The anger was growing inside of him, like a beast that would soon be uncontainable. "Yuri will live."

"That brat doesn't deserve to live. He deserves to die, like his miserable parents."

"You killed his parents?" Otabek was aghast. Father grinned, a slow smile that mirrored his obsession, his madness.

"Thomas was everything to me. He didn't deserve to die, gunned down in a raid gone wrong. Your beloved Yuri, his family was a wreck, he's a wreck, he deserves to die."

"That's a lie. Yuri is good, he is not his parents." He pulled the gun out of his back pocket, the nerves finally settling into his soul. Could he do this? His father's life for Yuri's?

The choice was difficult, and he knew no matter what he did, there would be regret. But he raised the gun anyways, aiming just like Father had taught him.

"So it's come to this, son?" Father laughed without joy. "You'd kill for your lover?"

"There's very little that I wouldn't do." Otabek's face was a mask. He vaguely noted that the wound on his arm was losing a lot of blood, dripping away on the white floor. If he waited too long, he would lose his chance.

He steadied his nerves and aimed again, finger poised on the trigger.

There was no going back now. 

Crack.

The sound of the gun obliterated all of Otabek's other senses. When he finally could see again, he noted his handiwork. Blood spattered the ground, running in rivulets away from his father, who scrabbled for purchase on the floor, desperate to get away.

Otabek turned to see the security guards rushing at him. He looked at them with dead eyes, watching them take in the bloody scene. 

"It's him you want." He stumbled a little, the blood loss and shock making him weak. "He'll survive if he gets medical help, there's a bullet in his right foot. He's the one who shot me, he intended to kill Yuri." 

At the last second, Otabek had decided against killing him, and opted instead for mere incapacitation. He'd bought Yuri the time he needed, without staining his soul with patricide. The authorities could deal with his soulless husk of a father. He didn't want to. 

He wanted to see Yuri.

He had to make things right.


	7. Brave for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lord, sorry this took forever to get out. I'm totally moving to another state and it's crazy at work sooooooo...
> 
> Anyways, here's a bit of interaction. The next chapter could definitely be smut but it depends on how life goes!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Yuri watched the whole event unfold with wide eyes, tears sparkling but unshed. Suddenly everything was falling into place: Otabek's hesitation to get closer than a certain level, his odd moods, the little mysteries that he had ignored in his initial infatuation. 

And he loved him all the more for it.

To some extent, Otabek had always been mysterious to Yuri, but it was only now that he realized the background. The minute Otabek had bled on the white ice was the minute that Yuri knew. His parents' past had finally caught up with him. 

He had known his mother and father were not good people, they had killed for spite, for hatred, for money. But the one good that they had in their lives had been Yuri. Until the day they were murdered, they had doted on him, leaving him with his grandfather for both his good and theirs. But they visited often, and never showed Yuri the harsh cruelty of their trade. 

He had loved them, and they him. He'd never known about the dozens of lives his family had robbed from others, other than a slight inkling. But when he saw Otabek run from him and towards the man who had thought to take his life, he knew that their actions had consequences and that he could never be completely free of them. But how did Otabek fit into all of this? The questions in his head were numerous, and he couldn't get them out of his head. 

Yuri paced outside of the stadium, Yakov watching him like a hawk the entire time. He was one of the few others who had known of his parent's illegal activities, and had also tried to protect Yuri. He was somewhat miffed that the safe haven of skating had been violated with the attempt on Yuri's life. Well, somewhat miffed was definitely an understatement.

"I don't want you just up and running off, you hear me?" Yuri had nodded in mute shock and understanding. "I don’t care if that Otabek comes to sweep you off your feet again, I'm not letting you out of my sight."

But he had spoken too soon, as Otabek, of course, showed up out of the blue. Yuri wanted to hate him, make him hurt like he had been hurt in these past few months. But he couldn't do it. His curiosity was too great, and like a moth to flame, he was drawn to Otabek and his mysterious past.

And of course, he swept Yuri up in a bone-crushing hug as soon as he got close enough. Yakov could really only huff in disdain, as technically Yuri hadn't left his sight. 

"Yura, Yura, Yura." Otabek murmured, almost fervent as he clutched Yuri to his chest. "I'm sorry." He repeated the words over and over again. "I'm so sorry, so sorry."

"Beka…"

"I didn't mean for this to happen." Otabek babbled, words flowing out of his mouth as tears streaked down his cheeks. "I didn't know at first, I never thought…."

He paused.

"I didn't mean to fall in love with you, but I did, and then I had to leave you to keep you safe, but then you weren't safe at all, and it's all because of me, and...." Otabek paused again, this time to breathe.

"Beka, this isn't all your fault. There must have been a reason behind the attempt on my life."

"About that…" Otabek mumbled, "the assassin was my father." He cleared his throat. "It was supposed to be me."

"What?" Yuri turned pale.

"My uncle…he was killed by your parents long ago. My father never stopped looking for his revenge. It was only just now that I realized what a pawn I had been to him."

"Where is he now?" Yuri's voice was low, dangerous. 

"I shot him."

"Beka!" Shock emanated from Yuri's tone. Otabek blathered on, almost oblivious.

"He'll live. Probably in a jail cell, but he'll live." Otabek set his jaw in a grim line. "I couldn't let him have you, revenge or no. You mean too much to me."

Yuri felt like his whole world was spinning, all the new information clashing with what he had told himself for all the time that Otabek was gone. He had known, when Otabek took the bullet for him, that he hadn't left for no reason. But hearing such an outrageous reason was another thing altogether. 

But then again, was it really so outrageous? He knew nothing of his parents' past. It wasn't beyond believable that their actions would color his life and lead to the story Otabek spun. But it was his words that choked Yuri's mind.

"I….I really mean so much to you?" 

He looked over at Otabek's wound. He had at some point bandaged it, but it still was a stark red in contrast to his golden skin. 

"Yura, I would die for you." Otabek knitted his dark eyebrows together, trying to convey his emotions in a way that would explain all his actions.

"Well, since you took a bullet for me, I'd say you got pretty close to it there." 

Tension crackled between the two of them as Otabek stepped closer to Yuri. 

"Can I kiss you, kitten?" Otabek whispered. Yakov might have gagged slightly in the background, but Yuri didn't care.

"Please."

It was a chaste kiss, but it meant the world to Yuri. He didn't care who saw, or about the craziness of the last few hours. 

Otabek's kiss meant hope, and the promise of tomorrow. And Yuri would take that any day.


End file.
